with Mitch Fatel, Comedian|
About a year ago I went to a comedy show with my
then girlfriend. The bill was stocked with some heavy
hitters but the one who brought the house down was a
young comedian named Mitch Fatel. I liked him, but my
girlfriend loved him. For the next week or so she poorly
tried to recite bits from his act and talk about how
cute he was. It was awful and, being a comedian myself,
I don't particularly like to hear how funny other
comedians are. I swore if I ever met him, he would pay.
And that is just what he offered to do.
"Do you guys want a drink?" Mitch
Fatel asked as he made the rounds at Standup NY comedy
club. My photographer, Ariana, and I declined the offer
as politely as two college students masquerading as
professional journalists could.
If you have ever
seen Mitch Fatel, chances are you would remember him.
Part timid child, part innocent demeanor, part
inappropriate sex addict; Fatel is certainly an
individual. When he speaks onstage you hear a child lost
in the supermarket; a scared little kid unsure of
himself and his surroundings. A scared little kid
propositioning audience members for sex, talking about
the clitoris, anal sex, and how men feel when they do it
doggie style ("I can only say that it is similar to the
way women feel when the see a sunrise").
the release of his new comedy CD "Miniskirts and
Muffins," numerous appearances on Letterman and Leno,
and a huge fan base, many feel Fatel is on the verge of
a major break. But he wasn't always this funny.
CH: When did you start doing
MF: I started doing standup when I was
13 or 14. My Dad would drive me in to the clubs and I
would go onstage in my pajamas saying that I had to get
up early for school. I wasn't funny but I would get up
and do stuff that I thought was hilarious. I would eat
cookies and milk and say I needed my snack before bed…it
was really terrible stuff.
CH: I know what drives me to perform is a
massive ego, do you agree?
MF: I always say
there has to be a sick reason why you go through this
rejection constantly. There's got to be such a need for
love. If you ever ask whether or not you should be a
comedian, don't do it. You shouldn't have to ask, you
should need to do it. If you don't need to do it, save
yourself a lot of pain and get a family and a real
pain Fatel speaks of is bombing; an act so horrifying to
a comedian, that some never recover from it.
MF: There is no way that you're not going
top die eventually. When you do it's torturous still.
I've never learned to deal with that pain. One time my
Mom and Dad came to a show and I died horribly. I
thought my Mom would say "you tried it," "you did good"
but she didn't say anything. So halfway into the trip
home I asked how I did and my Mom actually said, "Let's
face it, you bombed." After your Mom saying you bombed,
anyone else telling you comes easy.
CH: Do you want a TV show?
Yeah, you get a lot of babes with a TV show. (points to
Ariana) I could get Ariana with a TV show. That's all
she's waiting for, she basically told me.
CH: What would be the premise
of your show?
MF: When I started out, everyone
thought I would be the typical wacky neighbor. And I
was. I was on a show called "House Rules" that lasted
for about 4 episodes. It was terrible…(phone rings) I
think that's "House Rules" calling to say I'm the reason
their show failed. I'm not an actor, I'm a comedian so
I'm not going to fit into the conventional sitcom. What
I'm doing now is working on a show for Comedy Central
that will cater more to my audience.
CH: Who will you cast in this
MF: People who write good interviews
about me. Ariana, of course, will have a lead role once
she dumps her boyfriend. I'll just cast people that make
me laugh. If you put a bunch of comedians together and
take all the corporate stuff out of it, you'll have
something successful because we know how to be
CH: Are there any shows that you think
have that pure comedic brilliance to them?
"Curb Your Enthusiasm" and "South Park." You watch them
and you wonder why network TV still puts out crap.
CH: That is very true.
MF: Yes. I'm
CH: What's the weirdest thing to happen to
you on the road?
MF: I was doing a club in
Alabama and I was doing pretty good. I see the owner,
who's this Tony Soprano mafia guy, walking around to
every table passing out rolled up socks. I couldn't
figure out what was going on. Sure enough, when everyone
has their socks, he shouts '1,2,3' and everyone started
lobbing socks at me. I was like 'what was that? I wasn't
even doing bad.' That was bad, but another time I was
working a club in the Hamptons and I was doing great - I
always do very well, I'm very talented - and a girl just
walked on stage lost. She walked right over to me,
stared at me, and threw up all over me…Now I'm dating
started to talk about Fatel's appearances on "Dr. Katz,"
a now cancelled cartoon series that has developed a
serious cult following. We then talked about working for
the NFL as a commentator. You may have seen him asking
"retarded" questions to some of the players at the
Superbowl or celebrating the Patriots win atop the
shoulders of linebacker, Jeff Chattam. He then called me
his best friend and asked if we could hang out. I guess
that is the essence of Mitch Fatel; unpredictability.
But if you have ever seen his act, you would see his
answer to my next question coming from a mile
CH: You've worked for both "Playboy" and
"Penthouse," which do you prefer?
"Penthouse." They stick stuff in their vaginas…how do
you beat it?
Interesting. I thought that now would be a good
time to tell Fatel about my ex-girlfriend and her
obsession with him. I brought a picture along and he
seemed very impressed (point: Seidell!).
MF: She is hot. I would love
I told him the sad tale of her
leaving me for the owner of a rental company.
MF: Oh man, tent and grill rental always gets
girls wet. How did you not know that? Man, you should
have come to me.
CH: I didn't
MF: You're young. I know a lot more than
you about this. When she's my girlfriend, I'll keep all
rental people away from her.
Fatel wanted to know
if we had had sex after seeing him perform. I couldn't
remember. But more importantly, I thought that was a
very odd question. Fatel was ready with an explanation.
MF: I've heard that a lot of girls tend to
get turned on, not by me, but by the sex talk and go
home and have sex with their boyfriends. I just want
pictures. To all my fans out there, if I'm involved
somehow in getting you sex I want to reap the benefits
of my jokes. Send pictures to
He is dead serious as well.
And if you do feel like sending Mitch sex pictures of
yourself, please CC: them to email@example.com as
well. But it was time to move away from women and onto
more serious matters, namely, Mitch's new CD "Miniskirts
and Muffins." I was curious about the cover, which
features two Playboy centerfolds.
CH: Was that the best photo shoot
MF: It was the worst ever. One of the
girls showed up from Playboy with a tube-top on. We were
all like 'ok, gotta lose that top.' And she actually
said, 'I have to take my top off for this?' We were all
thinking 'you did work for Playboy, right?' Suddenly,
we're all dirty old men going 'TAKE YOUR TOP OFF! TAKE
YOUR TOP OFF!' But it was business to them. They were
there to make money and they did a great job.
CH: Any advice for the readers of
CollegeHumor.com? Remember, they're probably
MF: You are only living life for one
reason and that is to achieve what you want. If you die
following your dreams, you will die
from a man who calls the clitoris "the Osama Bin Laden
of the vagina" (it spends most of its time hiding in an
Check out MitchFatel.com to listen to clips,
watch his TV appearances, buy his new CD 'Miniskirts and
Muffins' (and see a nude picture of