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September 2nd, 2006
I think from now on my journal is going to be more like a blog. I don't really know what
the difference is but everyone else has a blog so from now on this is officially a blog! Whatever it's called I have one question: "Have we gone out of our cotton picking minds!?!" I can't even bring a bottle of
water on a plane with me!???
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Water?
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Hasn't this gone far enough? Can't we stop
making believe that Americans want to blow up planes and start profiling middle eastern
men and women because I don't know if you noticed but by and large Muslims like
blowing themselves up! I'll even take a
little extra searching but stop wasting our time taking
away our water and searching 80 year old grandparents. We have officially gone off the
deep end. I travel for a living and one of the last things I ever
thought would be taken from me was my "right" to drink a bottle of water. I like keeping
hydrated and now that's a crime! I actually smuggled a bottle of
water on a plane the other day and when the flight attendants weren't looking I snuck
sips. I was actually breaking the law...by drinking water! That boy is crazy, he's drinking water!
While I'm on the subject, why did we stop calling them stewardesses
and start calling them flight attendants? Why is one insulting
and the other not? What in Allah's name does it matter what you're called?
It seems like whenever people want to make something sound classier they just make it
take longer to say. Blacks are African Americans, Stewardesses are
Flight Attendants, Muslims are Exploding Americans. I'm sorry but from now on if you
have Ali anywhere in
your name you get extra attention. Even if it's Jimmy Ali Johnson!
I can promise you that using our resources to stop me from smuggling water on a plane is
not going to make us safer. How much longer can we all make
believe we don't know whose trying to kill us? Speaking of which, what the fuck is up with
these Muslims who are killing themselves or going to jail for life so that I have to get to
the
airport an hour earlier and have drymouth for an entire flight. I have to think Allah wants
you to use your lives for other things than giving me bad breath. Even crazier now is I have
to check every single bag because
I can't bring a tube of toothpaste on the plane. I don't know how toothpaste got caught up
in this big controversy. From the pictures I've seen I don't
think the terrorists care that much about their dental hygine. If you're about to visit the
holy land I'm guessing being cavity free is not really
your first priority. Then again, I guess if you're getting 72 virgins you're going to want to
have a nice smile, so maybe I'm wrong on that point.
Other than that, my life is wonderful. I just taped my Comedy Central special this week! No
big deal, it's just going to change Television forever. Honestly I think it really came out
great and I'm hoping everyone likes it. It
will air in Jan so
make sure to join my e-mail list and I'll let you know
the exact date. Also I want to thank Mark @ Bar
411 for putting together this great e-mail thing where when you enter your zip code
your automatically
e-mailed when I play within 50 miles of your area. If anyone's interested in a brilliant
computer programmer you have to check out this guy Mark who is
a computer genius and really did a great job for me.
I will be doing a huge tour after my Comedy Central special airs so make sure to join.
Also make sure to check out my Leno report from Ozzfest so if you haven't seen it already.
People are saying it was my best one.
(Webboy should put a link right here).
All I have to say is "NO one brings me down in Candyland" which after you watch you'll
understand,
has become the catch phrase of all time.
I was told that heavy metal guys now use the
phrase regularly when you make a good point so that's
really cool to me.
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Zakk Wylde
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I have to admit that other than Slipknot who turned out to be dicks (I interviewed them at
the Grammy's) heavy metal guys
are really cool people.
Everyone from Zakk Wylde to Jaime Josta (Lead singer of Hatebreed) turned out to be
really classy guys who treated me
incredibly. I can't really say I'm into their music though, It's pretty hard stuff and it makes
me want to shoot myself, but other than that
I love those guys. Take care and wish me luck on my special. I love my fans and I'm
not just saying that because you have sex with me when
I'm in your town (girls only).
Mitch
September 2006
May 2006
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Fatel |
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