How does one start a journal that will easily be the proudest one he's ever had to write? I guess he should just jump in and say it. I, Mitch Fatel, had dinner with a legend. I believe you've heard of the infamous Jessie James? For people who have never watched porno, I speak not of the infamous boring gunslinger Jesse James. I speak of porno legend and actress Jessie James. You may not actually know her name but I'm pretty sure you'll know who she is by her face and kick ass body. For the uninformed I will explain. Back in the late 80's when I was just a young child with a constant erection, Jessie James exploded on to the scene and became a bonified porno star.

Jessie James porno star.

I remember really liking her, not because she was hot, she is pretty but not in the typical porno Jenna Jameson way. Jessie actually became famous because she was just so damn good at what she did. Whereas other porno stars always have that look like they were waiting to get paid Jessie looked like she was just loving it. ( I learned this was actually the case, more on this later) I should also mention for anyone that may be wondering, the answer is "No" I did not get to live out my fantasy and have sex with a porn star. I probably could have but her stupid husband was there too and had to ruin everything! I also forgot to bring my camera which would have been really cool, I mean she’s a porn star so I know it would have been a great picture! I'll be sure next time I see her to get one. Here’s how it all happened. I was playing in Florida at a club called Sidesplitters and afterwards was getting ready to leave when the other comedian was like, “Did you meet the porn star?” "What are you talking about?” I inquired. He explained that this local girl had become a big porno star and still lived in the area and was at my show. I asked what her name was and they said “Jessie James” and my penis nearly hit my chin! I was like “Holy shit, I’ve masturbated to Jessie James!” (Sadly, those were my exact words). Anyway they told me she liked me and wanted to meet me. I actually got really nervous, I was like, "Oh my god, should I give her a copy of miniskirts and muffins?" The other comedian was like, "Dude you're shaking!" So I signed one for her and wrote, "I'm a big fan" (looking back I probably could have written something funny like "Ewww, what's in your hair?" but I couldn't even think. This is a big star.) So anyway, I went out and gave it to her and she asked me to have a drink. Since I only like pathetic girl drinks like Banana Daquiris and stuff I almost panicked!

Banana Daquiri's, now that's a drink!

Proudly though I sucked it up and ordered a disgusting beer, proving anyone can do anything if they put their mind to it. I got Corona because that's the one that comes with a lime! The rest was like a dream. We actually got into a deep conversation about our lives. We talked for hours. We talked about our childhoods, our dreams, getting double penetrated in the anus (most of that was on her part). She told me how funny I was and touched my arm a few times which made me shiver. That's when I thought, "Holy shit, I may actually sleep with a porn star“ and then I met her husband David : (